Interview with Joan Axelrod-Contrada: Can humans bend and shape themselves?

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ending and relationship dynamics can be as complex and intricate as interpreting old song lyrics. In a moment of revelation sparked by a catchy tune playing in her car, Joan Axelrod-Contrada reflects on the idea of bending and shaping oneself for a partner. The song “Bend Me, Shape Me” evokes thoughts of submission and molding oneself to fit another’s desires, a notion that may have seemed romantic in the past but now rings of unsettling coercion.

With her two canine companions, Bella and Desi, riding along, Axelrod-Contrada contemplates the lyrics of the song and the implications of letting someone else dictate how one should be. As the wind howls and her dogs romp through the park, the idea of maintaining individuality within a relationship emerges as crucial. Both partners should be willing to bend and compromise, but not at the cost of losing their own sense of self. Relationships require a delicate balance of yielding and standing firm, a dance that can be challenging but ultimately rewarding.

Axelrod-Contrada muses on the idea that both members of a couple should be willing to bend on their own terms, rather than being reshaped by the other. Maintaining individuality and integrity while also being open to compromise is the key to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It’s a fine line to walk, but one that allows for growth, mutual respect, and shared experiences.

As she watches her dogs explore and play, Axelrod-Contrada rewrites the chorus of the song in her mind, crafting a new version that reflects her belief in the importance of self-determination and shared compromise. The revised lyrics emphasize the idea of maintaining one’s backbone while also being willing to bend when necessary, a sentiment that encapsulates her perspective on relationships and personal agency.

In the end, Axelrod-Contrada’s musings serve as a reminder that relationships are multifaceted and intricate, requiring a blend of flexibility and strength from both partners. By reflecting on the concept of bending and shaping oneself for another, she highlights the importance of individuality, communication, and mutual understanding in navigating the complexities of love and partnership. And so, as the old song fades away and the wind whispers through the trees, she embraces the idea of bending while standing tall, ready to dance to the rhythm of life with grace and authenticity.

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