Love Songs That Rock Fans Secretly Dislike

ing” beat that just won’t stop on an endless loop, swampy production, and synthetic touches right on the border of pop music. It received mixed reviews and, while Ed Sheeran massively succeeded with it, a lot of rock fans want to forget “Shape of You” exists. 
Despite that, the track’s massive success was indisputable. Spending 12 weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 and becoming Spotify’s most-streamed track of all time (it even had 1.6 billion streams as of 2019), it clearly resonated with the general public. With its generic lyrics, relentless catchiness, and clean, non-threatening production, “Shape of You” was a ubiquitous force throughout 2017. Regardless, with no apparent guitar and double-Sheeran, some rock fans might just want to leave it out in the rain and hope it melts.

(Everything I Do) I Do It for You — Bryan Adams

Listen, we need to have a chat. We like Bryan Adams, a guy who’s generally the epitome of rock by way of Canadian can-do spirit. Out of all the songs to deify love, Adams’ “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” is the song that will make some rock fans gag. The biggest problem isn’t the song’s insight, imagery, or lyrics, though. Certainly, the “I’d climb the very highest mountain” verse might raise eyebrows, but there’s an authentic emotional core to Adams’ work. No, the problem here, truly, is that “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” is mush. Meandering, swelling, slow mush that goes on and on without a solid sense of rhythm, melody, or progression. 
Mind you, “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” was never a typical Bryan Adams song — not to mention all that wintry weepiness in its music video. Adams himself wasn’t happy about releasing a power ballad as his label focused its marketing not on him or the album “Waking Up the Neighbours,” but on the love song’s inclusion in the film “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.” Despite everything, Adams knew what he had in “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You,” as he called it in 2014, “a wonderful song that’s endeared through generations.” But for plenty of rock fans, it’s a big thick no.

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You — Michael Bolton

Michael Bolton’s “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” fit the bill — that cheesy, slick, glossy, and overly designed bill that rock fans would like to toss into the ever-present shredder. This was Bolton’s first No. 1 single, which he scored in 1990 — a year that didn’t really need another pop and soft rock love tune to clutter its charts. However, clutter the charts it did. The track was written by two giants in the soft rock genre: Bolton’s object of affection, Laura Branigan, recorded it in 1983 for her “Self Control” album, and then came Laura Branigan’s producer, David Foster, to record it with Bolton in 1989.
The tune spent three weeks at the top of the Hot 100, signaling Bolton’s complete transformation into the most generic, bland, heartthrob pop staple in music at the time. But for rock die-hards, “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” likely registered nothing but a whimper, a weep, a despairing croon hung on the wind like a smoke puff. Though the tune might now be more annoying than hated, let’s save the might-have-beens for the alternate timeline where rock is softer.